Really listen. Most people spend much of a conversation formulating what they are going to say next... If you are doing that, you are not paying attention to what she is saying.

Also, don't fall into the trap of being so eager to tell her things about yourself, that you make the conversation a showcase of your accomplishments. Nothing makes a woman feel appreciated like a man genuinely wanting to learn about her, especially her thoughts and feelings.
Create fantasies together.

If she dreams of living on the beach, create that daydream together.

Paint her a verbal picture of what it would be like to be walking on a deserted beach together at night, with the light of the moon reflecting off the waves. Describe standing in the sand with the waves gently lapping at your feet, taking her hands in your own and drawing her up-turned face in for a kiss....

Find out what her daydream is, and make it one you share together.





3. Play out her dreams. 
Has she always dreamed of a taking Salsa lessons? Make arrangements and do it together.

Has she always dreamed of owning a BMW? Arrange to rent one for the day.

Has she always dreamed of visiting Paris? Set your apartment to be Paris for the night--French music, French food, French wine....a poster of the Eiffel Tower in the background, and a black and white table cloth on the candlelit table.... after dinner watch a black and white French film, then feed her French pasteries by hand for a late night dessert...





Did she mention a favorite band from her teenage years? Find out where they will be in concert, and book a weekend trip. Or surprise her with reservations to the newest restaurant in town. Or tell her she has the most beautiful legs you have ever seen and take her shopping for a new pair of high heels...


If she has something in mind for your date, be willing to try it. But, do not leave date planning up to her. There is nothing worse than being on a date with a man and having the following conversation, "Where do you want to eat dinner?" "I don't know, where do you want to eat?" "I don't know, do you have any ideas?" That is not sexy.
Be complimentary. Tell her how much you adore her, what things you love most about her (ie, her sparkling eyes and the wonderful sound of her laughter).... make her feel like she is the only woman in the room. Never look at other women in her presence.  Be passionate about her. Don't be afraid to tell her that she takes your breath away.

Is she being quiet? (Perhaps she is nervous or you are dominating the conversation?) Is she hinting about future dates? (Things are going well.) Is she touching your arm during dinner or do her fingers keep returning to her hair subconsciously? (You might want to look for a romantic spot for a kiss in this case?) Be aware of the cues she is offering. Follow her lead.

A final thought: it is important to remember that a woman will touch you how she likes to be touched. If she is very gentle and tentative with you, use the same gentle touch with her--it is not the time to pull her in for a passionate kiss.




Do not underestimate the sexiness of feeding a woman a decadent desert spoonful by spoonful, eyes locked on hers.

Do not underestimate the power of softly whispering, "You are so beautiful" in her ear as you embrace.

 Do not underestimate the power of lightly cupping her face in your hands as you reach in for a gentle kiss.

For a woman, an isolated movement of the softest, most gentle nature, can be the most romantic, and the most unforgettable....


It sounds counter-intuitive, but it is true. It is important to make her realize how much she misses you, and that she wants you around. She needs to realize that you have a life of your own and although you adore her, your life does not revolve around her.

Do not overplay this move or it will backfire. The point is not to help her realize she can live without you.... (too much absence and she might realize she doesn't need you after all.)  And, never make her feel like you are playing a game with her heart, or are doing this on purpose.  If she suspects you are doing this on purpose, you will erode all trust she has for you.

This rule is the most important of all. Be a man of strength and character. While indulging a woman is seductive, bending to her every whim is not. Sometimes a woman seeing you are willing to leave can make her respect you more as a man.



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This article was originally featured on RioDancesOnTheSand.com, a blog for the thinking person... Written by Rio Denali, a 30-something with peculiar curiosities, who makes the observations that many of us avoid. Full of useful links and entertaining articles, it is a fun favorite for the intelligent reader. For more great articles like this, please visit RioDancesOnTheSand.com.